Moms Groups - Round 2 (or...I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends)

Remember Moms and Tots groups? These playgroups provided many women - including me - with a treasured support of like-minded sister-moms who became woven into the tapestry of their lives.

I was so very lucky to have Kathy, Tracy, Jean, Lisa, Mary, Diana, and Justine; all whom lived within sugar-borrowing proximity. We met weekly, presumably for the kids. However, I know that a huge part of our play group was for the moms. We threw baby showers, sang happy birthdays, baby sat, collectively wringed hands over fevers, shared child-rearing challenges (remember the terrible - er, I mean - terrific twos?), and celebrated each other's successes. Those wondrous years as a young mom were made even more magical thanks to them.

What power and strength these groups provided! As we transition to a new stage now, one where we're on-ramping, finding our way back to jobs and careers, we can channel this same support and enthusiasm! Stay tuned for posts on starting a Moms and Jobs group, what these groups can do for moms re-entering the workforce, and tapping into the inherent power of women supporting and inspiring one another.

All the best,

Carol

Silence The Critics

Who are you to write this book? Who cares what you have to say? No one is going to read it! How ridiculous you're going to look.

These are a sampling of the voices that have been speaking to me lately. Who are these people? They are the very voice of my self-doubt and criticism. And I am so un-inviting them to my book party!!

Some background: I resigned from a great job in corporate communications about 18 months ago to pursue my passion - writing. Since then, I've been doing freelance work while also working on my book, Looking for the On Ramp: A Guide for Comeback Moms. As I get deeper and deeper into the book...and closer and closer to making my dream a reality...the thoughts above have been whispering into my ear.

Anne Lamott, one of my all-time favorite writers, describes the audience of voices that sit with her as she writes. "They are the voices of anxiety, judgment, doom, guilt....there may be a Nurse Ratched....." she explains.*

While it doesn't help to stifle the voices much, it does take some of the wind out of their sails. I realize this self-flagellation is all a part of the process, part of the human condition. And it certainly helps to know I'm not alone.

When I began my comeback to the business world, I remember a similar sense of self-doubt and fear. "Excel?!? I haven't used Excel for anything beyond creating a roster as a homeroom mom," I thought as I figured out how to create a spreadsheet. "Mail merge? No one said I needed to know that," I lamented as a wonderful colleague patiently sat with me - again - to show me how. "I am going to completely destroy the company's database," I feared as I walked myself through the query steps carefully.

Each of these voices seemed intent on shaking my confidence and sending me packing. However, I continued to will them into silence and worked on 'sharpening the saw,' a Steven Covey phrase that perfectly describes the importance of continual skill building and enhancement. Eventually, I became irritated enough with them and more comfortable with my abilities that they packed it in.

Comeback Moms have our own unwelcome whisperers who are keen to point out all sorts of things like your age, how long it's been since you've worked for pay, how hard it's going to be to get your resume together, how expensive it will be to go back to school, or how you're going to need a completely new wardrobe and hairstyle. In other words, these voices will try and shake your confidence and break you.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM!!

Instead, carry onward and upward. Tell them to get lost, that you don't have time for their foolishness, that you're too busy to listen to their nonsense, tell them to SCRAM! Then, take one step at a time closer to staging your comeback. Each small step gets you a bit closer to your goal. And each step makes the voices a bit harder to hear.

If you're working on your comeback, I'd love to hear how things are going. And if you've made a successful comeback already, zip me an email. Your journey and travel tips can help another woman on her way.

*Anne Lamott, Bird By Bird, Anchor Books, 1994, p.7.

Upping Your IQ on EP......Excel and Powerpoint

Janet Hanson, founder of 85 Broads, has some great advice for Comeback Moms. Named for the Broad Street address of her former employer Goldman Sachs, she started the group in an effort to stay connected to her female colleagues when she left the firm and became a stay at home mom. Today, 85 Broads is over 20,000 women strong and has expanded beyond the scope of the financial services industry to include women from a variety of industries who share a passion for excellence.

Recently, Martha St. Jean interviewed her for The Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/martha-st-jean/women-work-jobs-and-advic_b_230809.html St. Jean asked her what advice she had for women who were re-entering the workforce after a time away.

"Find the smartest young people you can to help you figure out how to use a computer. Lack of computer skills is what is going to hold older women back.....If you don't know how to create an excel spreadsheet or to create a powerpoint presention, you are seriously handicapped," Hanson explained.

Students today seem to learn Excel and Powerpoint in preschool! Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But if your kids are older than 11 or 12, chances are they can whip up a Powerpoint and create some basic spreadsheets in Excel faster than you can say Jonas Brothers.

Take care not to be lulled into an inflated sense of computer savvyness just because you can surf the net, email, use Word, and do a mail merge. I did.....and boy did I scramble when I learned---on day 1---just how un-savvy I was.

Excel and powerpoint are the counterparts to yesterday's ledgers and flip charts. Excel is applied in countless ways today---mailing lists, client contact information and follow ups, financial reports, statistical analyses, creating charts, and much, much more. So, if you were thinking that you're not looking for a job in a 'numbers' field and won't be needing Excel, think again.

Powerpoint is used for speaker visuals, on-line written reports, meeting agendas, final reports, slide shows, and meeting handout sheets. I have seen it used in nonprofits, corporate settings, conferences of all sizes, actual and virtual meetings, recruiting fairs, and budget presentations. Like Excel, its use crosses industries and professions. Knowing Powerpoint is simply essential.

As Hanson mentions, you probably know a smart young professional (niece? son? neighbor? candlestick maker?) who can help you begin to master these. Not to worry, however, if they respond to your SOS with a look of unveiled horror. Here are some other ways to sharpen the proverbial saw:

• Adult Education Programs - Many communities offer low-cost courses in the evenings. In my town, the Adult School offerings run the gamut from Photopraphy and Speaking to Your Angel Guides to Microsoft Office and Business Writing. The price is under $100 for a 2 or 3 night session.

• (Take Your Pick) for Dummies- Okay, you may want to tear off the cover, but these are usually well done, easy to follow, and right on the money. Check out your local library to see if they have any of these in stock. The last time I checked amazon.com, there were versions for Excel and Powerpoint, along with others for Outlook (the email system that is often used for scheduling appointments and more), Access (a database program), and Word (could be helpful if you're not comfortable doing more than straight typing).

• County Colleges - Taking a county college computer course can be a great option if you want to get more instruction that an adult school program can provide.

• The Microsoft Website - Once you've gotten some basics down, the Microsoft website provides on-demand trainings on specific topics. There is also a 'type question here' space in the upper right hand section of Word, Excel and Powerpoint for quick answers that may arise as you're working.

Take the time to improve and polish your skills for a smoother comeback experience. Think how proud you'll be when you can add Excel and Powerpoint to your skills summary!

All the best,

Carol

The Modern World of Work

I've been hearing a catchy, clever tune on XM Coffeehouse while driving around town. Modern World by David Wilcox describes how 'this ain't the modern world that I remember.' He's referring to the 60s and 70s rendition of the future. You remember, the one with flying cars, space colonies, smell-o-vision, and Jetson-esque homes and workspaces.

Today's workplace has not been completely Jetson-ized. But if you off-ramped 10 or more years ago, you may be surprised by the workplace a la 2009. Understanding how it has changed provides you with a framework to envision yourself thriving and succeeding as your new on-ramped self. It can also give you important insight for talking about your skills and strengths in interviews and will give you a heads up as to what skills you'll need to polish and/or master.

Here is a brief comparision of what the corporate work world was like when I off-ramped in the early 90s and on-ramped in 2006:

THEN:

• The company I worked for (a major corporation) wasn't on the internet!! Businesses still weren't sure about this newfangled e-world. What we did have was a very unfriendly and clunky intranet, with monitors that weighed 50 pounds and took up a big chunk of one's desk!


• If someone read an interesting article in a professional journal that he/she wanted to share with colleagues, a routing slip was attached, and the magazine was passed from cubicle to cubicle, with each person checking off as he/she read it.


• Files, busting at their seams, filled people's in boxes. Managing the growing mounds of paper documentation was a constant struggle.


• The phone rang constantly.


• Everyone did their work in the office. Project not finished? That meant a mandatory stay at the office as there was no ability to work from home on a laptop.


• Meetings were held face-to-face in conference rooms and offices.


• Everyone wore suits.

NOW:

• E-mail is everything! Colleagues a cubicle or office away send e-mails all day--interesting articles, updates on client requests, feedback on reports, checking whether you brought lunch or want to order out, etc.


• The phone doesn't ring very much. Client communication, prospective client communication, and communication with friends and family happen on line the majority of the time during the workday.


• Microsoft Office rules the work world. I had fancied myself as fairly computer savvy when I on-ramped. The first day on the job I was asked to edit a fairly lengthy powerpoint, replete with fancy graphics and links. I adeptly corrected typos, spelling and syntax----with a pen on the printed copy of the report. How embarrassed I was when I realized I was supposed to do it online!! I felt SO old-fashioned---barely a step away from asking where the typewriter was!! After somehow muddling through the electronic version, I invested in a bunch of how-to books and practiced at home to get my skills up to speed. It became a personal badge of honor on those rare occasions when I could point out a shortcut to one of my younger, and way more e-savvy, colleagues.


• Meetings often happen virtually. Instead of travelling to meetings, they happen right on everyone's computer. Thanks to meeting software, trainings, client presentations, and proposal meetings can happen without the expense and time drain of everyone being in one location.


• Suits are worn rarely. Big client presentation? Definitely a suit day. Every other day, however, smart business casual is appropriate. Great slacks, blouses, sweaters, and accessories can definitely get you through many work situations.


• Laptops make work portable. My company allowed for work to be done at home--a policy that provided flexibility to meet important deadlines without needed to practically move into the office. I appreciated the ability to work from home when necessary. If a snow storm made roads treacherous, I could still put in some hours at home, keep on deadline, and not have to deal with a white knuckle drive.

What hasn't changed:

Your life experience, patience, compassion, and smarts all work together to make you a wonderful asset to the world of work. I admit to being fairly intimidated by my highly intelligent and driven younger colleagues initially. It didn't take long, though, for me to realize that I most definitely had a lot to offer. I happily acted as their sounding board and helped them, as they helped me, too.

You can make a great comeback. It is nothing short of thrilling to imagine the impact you can make!

All the best,

Carol

"Do it afraid, the courage will come later....."

Tamra Slagle is an example of a mom staging a comeback! After 25 years as a stay at home mom of 13 AND grandma of 6, she decided to go back to school and get her degree. For a dose of inspiration this morning, click on the link below to watch the KDSK-St. Louis story about Tamra. As she so fittingly says, "....do it afraid, the courage will come later."

http://www.ksdk.com/video/default.aspx?maven_playerId=articleplayer&maven_referralPlaylistId=playlist&maven_referralObject=1143046200

Where's the On Ramp?

Looking for the on ramp......wow, that phrase so very aptly describes the Comeback Mom's journey!

Have you ever taken an exit-only ramp off a major freeway and quickly realized that you'd made a mistake? This is SO not my exit, you begin to think. Finding your way back to the freeway can be harrowing, time consuming, irritating, and a major inconvenience....to say the least! For those of us moms who took career off ramps years ago, our journey back to the on ramp is a bit like this scenario. We were sure about the exit, but finding the on ramp is not as easy as we may have thought it would be.

Trying to use the same old job search techniques from days gone by won't help you to restart your career in a meaningful way. It's kind of like trying to go back up the exit ramp in reverse....definitely not a good approach. The path you took to get off the career superhighway is not the one you'll need to take to get back on.

After staging my own comeback of sorts, commiserating with women attempting their own career comebacks, and providing last minute interview/skills tutorials to friends on important 'interview eves,' I decided to research the comeback mom phenomenon and write a resource book geared for moms like us.

Looking For the On Ramp: A Guide For Comeback Moms will be published later this year. However, I want to begin sharing what I've learned and to hear from other comeback moms regarding what works, success stories, journey detours and challenges. I also hope to provide a forum for comeback moms to support one another, share tips and strategies, and celebrate successes.

Check back often for updates, tips, and strategies for staging your career comeback. If you have information you'd like to share or would like to be interviewed for my book, please email me at camerino.carol@gmail.com.

Best to you,

Carol